Don't Worry. Be Angry

As I stepped out of my house this morning at 6 ‘O clock, I got really angry. Not because I got up early. Not because I didn't have my tea on time. It was because a person on his bicycle loudly singing a song, that too a Hindi song, much worse than I sing. Nowadays at home I attempt to sing a Hindi song when I get angry. I could not do that as it was in the middle of the road. I could not vent out my anger!

I had a peculiar habit in my childhood. I used to bite my right hand when I used to get angry. More angry, more severe was the bite. Luckily I could stop that “good” habit when I was at the age of around nine or ten. Otherwise I would have eaten up both my hands by this time.

I have an uncle. FaceBook is designed for him, though he does not use it. He has only one expression on his face, smile. Like the “like” emotion in FB. I have never seen him showing his anger, for that matter sadness or even surprise. My cousin Thambi and I had gone to his house, our initial days in Bangalore. After a delicious lunch cooked by aunt, we decided to take a nap in the hall. As we were about to get sleep, “tuku tuku  tuku” some noise disturbed us. “No my dear do not disturb them while trying to sleep” my uncle requested his little one. The little one was playing with 7 lever Navatal lock hanging on the iron trunk! A few minutes went by. Little one asks “appa, just one more time?”. Uncle says “OooooK”. Again “tuku tuku tuku tuku tuku tuku.. “ much more rigorously this time. This went on for some more time. Such a nice, soft and lenient person is my uncle.

I had visited this “soft” uncle’s house subsequently. Uncle just stepped out to buy something. The kids started talking a bit loudly. Aunt came and announced “don’t disturb Sundarannu, when appa comes I will tell him and he will get angry and do the needful”. The little one started crying, he was scared of his appa’s anger. So powerful is my uncle’s anger, he need not have to be expressive about it.

My friend Rick, another soft spoken person. Rare breed, knows thoroughly both the technology and business, extremely intelligent.  We were together in Waukesha, Milwaukee at a customer location supporting their applications. Rick being a local person, he used to take me to many “interesting” places around. No one ever used to raise voice with him, because he was nice, knowledgeable, and extremely helpful.  A new boss arrived. In that Friday afternoon meeting he got angry and shouted at Rick in front of us for a minor issue.  Rick kept quiet, no emotions what so ever. No excuses either.

That same day evening I wrote my new workplace location code on the stickers provided and stuck on all my belongings, chair, carton of books etc. Yes, our office was getting shifted to a new place a few miles away in the same location.We were asked to label all our belongings that to be carried to new place by the movers. I decided to check what Rick was up to. Rick had completed all his labeling work. “Come, I will show you what I am going to do”, he took me along. First he went and found the destination workplace code of his new boss –“72B”. Picked up a few stickers and wrote “72B” in all those stickers. Went around and stuck them onto many items around. Weekend got over, we all reached the new office well in time, highly excited! I saw the new boss fuming outside his work area. Apart from his own chair and a few belongings there were many other useless items scattered on the ground – two broken chairs, one old defunct printer, a shabby water container and many such things. The mover fellow did a super job looking only at those labels, without using his brain – does he have to use it at all ? Rick had a way to respond to his boss who was unreasonably angry.

This story I remember reading in a Malayalam publication, many years back, with due acknowledgement to who ever be the author of this, let me try to reproduce it. Sankaran was his name, was coming back after a busy day. A friend of his meets him on the way. Friend asks “ how are you Sankaran, must be returning from Ettumamoor?”. Sankaran got really angry “Who are you to ask me this question? I can go where ever I wish to. That is none of your business”. The friend did not understand why Sankaran was  angry for asking a simple obvious question, Ettumanoor is a nearby place where people often go -  to the famous temple to pray to Shiva and it was "Ezharaponnaana ( procession on 71/2 gold elephants, special occasion)  that day”. But the friend did not realize that Sankaran was actually returning from his secret wife’s house ( chinna veedu in Tamil ! ) located in Ettumanoor ! People might get provoked for things which you would have never meant!

You might have heard of Durvasa Maharshi who was famous for his anger and his curses on anyone who annoyed him. But good thing was he could also be quickly appeased. And he himself would suggest people a way out of the curse. Hope we all are like that, hope we could ourselves find a way out from the damages caused by our anger.

One thing is sure, anger is inevitable. It is natural. In certain instances if you don't show your anger others will sit on your head. So get angry as required. However one need to control the emotions to reduce the damage. Do not try to suppress it too much if it burns with in you, just vent it out.  Just express it. But never bite your that right hand. With lots of conviction I can say – it hurts !!!